Freak pissed.

Mum's like nagging at me on and on....
I'm talking to Mr Ho and he told me to go get a filter to filter the contents la. I said to ask him to make one for me, but he say individual spectrum different. Haha. Then I asked him for the strongest and he said no stock. What a joke man! (:
Sometimes I really wonder why I have such parents. Parents who don't give a damn about some things and give too much a damn about others. For example if I did well especially in my O's, she didn't freaking say anything. And when she does say something, she says I have to do better cos my sister did quite ok. So what? Comparing me? And saying things like that? What parents?! Plus she is so freaking calculative that she wants to collect back all the money she spent on me when I grow up next time. Please la, when I give birth and have my own children I will have to spend loads of money on them too. And I will then ask them for money is it? It's a cycle, ok!?!

GTG bb

Heyhey. I'm kinda irritated by the fact that people are asking me whether I smoke cos' my nic is "I'm a smoking chimney". I didn't smoke ok. Maybe thought of it only. So don't panic you guys! (:
Ok, today I went to see my normal doctor thing. And freak man. I spent like 2-3 hours at the hospital. What the hell la. I am already damn tired and somemore I have to wait that long. So I complained to the woman and yelled at her. Nah, maybe not yell. Haha. (: And yes, I'm suffering from a bad headache now. And I'm in a bloody bad mood at this very moment. Head feels spinny and yeah. Hope I don't faint like the girl who did today. Poor thing!

And yes, tomorrow there is botak man's test. My my, confirm fail and he will have the entertainment of his life- scolding me ):

Gotta go, wanna catch a little nap before I do my work and study.
Ciao!(:

Happy happy happy

House function was a blast today! Woohoo! (: And i'm damn tired now, so nights! LOL

(:

It's finally over.

I'm having maths lesson now. Didn't do well for maths test. A single digit. Loads of careless stupid mistake. But well, expected cos I'm careless and stupid too.

Looking at Charlene's blog kinda dampened my mood. Haven't been in a happy mood today. Today totally was emoing and moody. The weather kinda bad also. ( realised it's raining alr). No sunshine and no smiles in the sky. Looking at the back of his head makes me feel very sad. Even the back of his head. That moment I imagined his body next to mine. The hard chest muscles and packs under that tight uniform. ( I'm not a pervert, i just miss him too badly. Yes, he was the best of my life. The guy that was so perfect.
If perfect then why is it so that we can't walk this journey together anymore?

I have to get over him. I have to live my life anew, for myself and not for him. I have to study for myself, I have to work towards a scholarship to UK not because he is going there too. I just need to. Will you be there in UK? Will we have rekindled love? Haha. That's all too far and my heart aches to even think about that.
You don't seem to miss my presence. You don't seem to want me there. You seem so fine, like the first time I met you. So well, since you're doing fine. I should be happy. Loving you was the best thing that happened to me this year. And I can only thank you for letting me love you even though it was just a short 6 months.

I'm going clubbing on the 31st after Nike Human Race. I know it's dumb when I'm tired. But I need to numb myself. With the people around me. Though many are serious jerks and well even sluts I will meet that day. But I want to be them for the day. To not worry and get high. Only by then I can feel numb. I can numb the senses of pain and unhappiness and even the unwillingness to let go. I'm gonna party, drink, smoke and club. No one can stop me.
I need this ironically to feel that I'm alive. So yeah, just once, let me become someone I am but yet was left in the hiding. I don't wanna be that stupid good girl, cos' I'm not. So don't stop me, don't you dare.

loads to rant, but decide not to.

Hey, I had this really weird dream. Felt very sad, and really painful in my heart as I remembered. It was about me losing my BF. But well, that didn't happen cos' Matthew came back alive from his race.
Anyhow, I was trying to do biology. As in read the notes and maybe make some notes on my own. But somehow right, I just can't settle down. Like as though my butt has durian spikes. Sigh ): So yeah, finally managed to spend an hour on Genetics of Viruses. Hard work believe me. Though it was kinda easy to grasp the content. Not like organization and control of eukaryotic or prokaryotic genome. That's real tough. Super, the ultimate! So here I am, taking my well deserved half an hour break.
I spent the morning watching gymnastics Olympics on Channel 5. OMG, for the guys' team yesterday I totally support Italy. But for the girls' team today, I totally think Romania rocks! (: The girls are so pretty, elegant and so so good at it. There were of course mistakes, disappointment and tears. But well, the girls handled it quite well I guess. Seriously, China's gymnasts are superb. Though young like maybe 10? They are like super uper good, and are highest in ranking currently. There was this girl, He Ke Xin I guess, she was so good. But she slipped off the bar. Like WTH, everything was super uper perfect you know. But well, she got quite high points though she fell. Cos' she really deserved it. The poise, the speed, the actions and even the landing. No words can describe that fantastic show she put on for the audience. Man, how I wished I could have learnt gymnasts from the start ): Well, now I'm just too old and fat.
And yes, talking about fat. I've decided to start training up for Nike Human Race. Yes, I'm not running but well. At least i must be able to walk the whole thing through la. Or else so paisei. Haha. (: Today's weather was hell. Wanted to go Sentosa, but firstly no one's interested. And secondly, it rained heavily. Sigh, my wishes are always not fulfilled, but rather gone against by God' will. Why?! (Sorry, a little too drama here)

AND(!) I actually went for a family dinner at a 7th month celebration thing. OMG, seriously the food is marvellous. The suckling pig, and even the cold dish. It's wonderful. Uncle says next year there will still be such an event with the same company food. Woohoo!
But again, more reasons to exercise now, cos' I ate loads yesterday. Gonna run later (: And climb some stairs. Get this lazy bod to work it out (:

Anyway gotta go, making use of my time wisely before I'm back at viruses. Haha. Mugging period/ Intensive starts now! (:

heyhey, cam whored a little with my camera. haha.
camwhoring season i guess(:
anyway happy cos im gonna have a super big dinner with my whole family. aunties and uncles and cousins included. (:
loves!

Lala, cam whored w Joce! :D

heyhey,
here are some photos today (: cam whored with Joce in school, before econs lessons with Botak! (:

Whos this handsome guy? :D
guess guess guess(:
hope he doesnt see his photo here. not sure whether he will murder me.

Love you darling(:

I'm sick again ):

I'm sick and resting at home again. I feel so lousy like I'm some girl who is so weak and vulnerable to viruses especially. No! I'm not that kinda girl, just have the time of my month. And this month's cramps are worse than ever. OMG! Haha, but well I took panadol to stop the pain. Didn't want to cos' well, I might be dependent on the drug from this day on... But the pain was continuous, never ending. Argh! So I had to eat 2 panadol pills. Before I faint from the extreme pain like last time. Haha.
Anyway, I haven't been doing anything much. And I actually skipped Biology Test. I'm not happy ok? Though some might think I should be. But I studied for it, so I wanna sit for it and well, know how bad/ well I faired. There is gonna be no school on friday and next monday. Hurray for that. Now I can finally catch some sleep. Hmm, maybe not. Cos' my work is piling up, and exams are coming! JC life is so freaking shit can. Wake up early go school and mug mug mug. Come back at night and study study study. Where's my life?! ):

And yes, thanks to National Day, we have one and a half more day off! Haha. I remembered Mrs Velma Ang telling us one student actually said, "I love Singapore because of that!" Haha. Though true that National Day brought us one more day of holiday, but well there's loads of other reasons why we should love Singapore. I just realised that we've always taken the security of Singapore for granted. Don't you think you feel safe here? Though yes, Mas Selamat is still out not found. But well, that guy is gonna get caught someday I guess. By someone and somehow. I'm actually impressed that there are people willing to quit their jobs to search for that guy. 3 people in exact are doing such a thing. How is it possible that they will find him when people like the Armed Forces dudes have already combed every part of Singapore. Hmm, someone definitely helped him out. Definitely. I'm so surprised when I heard that there was a JI terrorist from Singapore. OMG! What kinda Singaporean is that. I hope he isn't going or planning to terrorise Singapore. If not he will so get karma. It's your own country you shit ass. ):

Back to National Day, though I've always wanted to go overseas to live and study, but well, one thing I can promise is that I will come back to Singapore. Singapore is the place where I grew up in. My motherland. So safe and warm like a mother's arms. So protective my mother land is. (: Thus, I will make sure, my talent and skills are not donated to other countries, but rather kept for the benefit of my darling motherland. (:
So to all those who say you dislike your own country, shame on you. I know of one from my class. That day when she said that I felt sorry for her, and yet angry too. She hasn't learn to treasure or cherish the stability and prosperity of our country. What if you are born in countries like Malaysia, with political unstability. In thailand, with strikes and everything. In China, where the Sichuan incident happened. What if, you won't in these protective arms. Would you still be here? Enjoying the view, the fresh air, the fine education and even the stability and security. Think about that.
If you have unchanged views. Shame on you then. You're the ultimate case, no hope of ever changing your view of Singapore..

Here's wishing Singapore an early early happy 43rd bday in case I don't come online for the next few days.

And yes! Olympics is starting this friday. WOOHOO! TV will from that day be my ultimate stress buster(:

loads of love
clarabel(:

Complaints, complaints, complaints.

Hey, today has been a super eventful day. With of course pissing off moments.
1. Eclub duty again! (with Oliver somemore)
He didn't do anything can, was like so freaking busy with his own homework. Mugger la. Leave me to attend to customers and thus, i'm pissed. But i sold 6 socks(: Monday i also sold 6 socks on my own. Maybe during the public holidays I should go and try being a promoter. Haha(:
2. Taiwan exchange thing. The mass dance and cheering session was supposed to be at 3pm. But somehow the blur and dumb teacher in charge didn't tell us that there was a change of plans. I even skipped biology tutorial just for it. And tomorrow I have biology test on what the teacher went through today. Freak shit. Taiwan students came in at like 4 plus, then it lasted till 5. They won't very cooperative but the girls were real sweet. They were sincere about learning la, that's the difference.

After so, I went home. Cabbed home with Nic, the guy with spoilt hand and leg. That's what he said. Spoilt! Haha. Bought dinner with him downstairs. Sweet guy, waited for him till I got my food la.

3. EoM due tomorrow.Just finished it though. And now I havent' have time for biology test revision. I swear, PW is so freaking a waste of everyone's brain power/juice and time man.

Ok, I gotta go though have loads to rant. Sure there will be another ranting session too cos' there's 2 tests on thursday and I haven't studied for it yet. I'm so dead!

(Mum didn't want to meet Mr. Aziz. Haha (: )

Busy day(:

I'm doing the useless pushcart duty now, but cursing and swearing at the same time cos' Daphne isn't here to do the duty with me. It's like if I totally slack and not open the pushcart I guess it will just remain close. Matt's sitting next to me, doing his work. There's music here cos' some guys are playing. Well, great atmosphere. But just not a romantic time or place. 

Today's gonna be quite a screwed up day for me. HC meeting plus grocery shopping for house function that's on next tuesday. Tired is not the word. Maybe exhausted (:

So I will keep it short and sweet. (:

I just pushed Matt's head and somehow I feel happy. haha, a sadist I know. 

Ciao!

There's so much to do! ):

Hey, there's been s much to do, and yet I didn't spend my weekends wisely. What the hell is wrong with me? ): I've been so caught up with work and HC function. Plus now I'm supposed to teach the foreign students mass dance and house cheers, argh! OMG, I just finish my GP essay on " Are the poor an inevitable feature in society?". Though I know roughly what it means and everything like I can debate these question but somehow I can't pen it down. So infuriating. Plus now I'm looking at my schedule for next week and man, it's quite screwed up.

Monday (tmrw): Doctor's appt as usual, HC meeting at 5.30pm
*it's with cheryl as told by bird, but I'm wondering Cheryl Lwin or Cheryl Chew. Well, Nevermind bout' that. (And if I have time, I think I will sit in for maths remedial(: )

Tuesday: Teach Taiwan exchange student mass dance- speedy and house cheers. Released at 2.30pm (yeah!) But the cheer and dance session till late?! (boo!) Haha.

Wednesay: Biology test- Viruses, bacteria and organization of eukaryotic genome. (Sounds tough and cheem? You bet!)

Thursday: Maths test, Chem test
Maths- T18, 19, 20, 23 and elearning. freak shit, no way! (no way i'm gonna pass)
Chem- Reaction kinetics (argh!) and gas laws (boo.)

Friday- hmm... Should be busy with HC stuff again and well, national day celebration half day! (yeap!) (:

*Nevermind. It's gonna be a long weekend this week. No full day school on friday, and also no school on monday!

PS: I seriously can't wait to watch the Olympics on TV everyday. I wanna see the Gymnastics the most. So elegant and beautiful. Oh yes, and here's wishing all Singapore Team the best! Go singapore (:
And of cos' a happy national day (though early) to all (:

loveydovey,
bel(: